What do you do…
July 1st, 2009, 2:43 pm · 3 Comments · posted by Hana
This is for deaf and hard of hearing people out there who speak as their form of communication with their hearing counterparts. What do you do if you get interrupted by a hearing person who does not realize you are speaking to another hearing person?
For example, I’m talking to my hearing co-worker who sits next to me, and there is a pause as I wait for a response from him. My co-worker needs to think about his response because he’s weighting his options. During this pause, another hearing co-worker walks in and begins talking to my hearing co-worker. What would you do? I’m curious what your response is.
I know that sometimes a deaf or hard of hearing person would just back down and come back later. But once in a while, you might do what I just did … I said, “I was talking to him first. Please wait your turn!”
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I think it is fair enough to ask the person who interrupts to let you finish your conversation. If it were three hearing people, the conversation would naturally flow back to concluding the first conversation & the interruption would be no big deal.
But, with Deaf/HOH the difficulty is that the hearing people may not understand that it is difficult to follow two speakers at once. You could explain that & then they’d understand your need to finish the first conversation before moving into the second.
If I worked with someone everyday, I’d probably explain myself to them.
Good Luck.
well, first of all, even hearing people know it’s rude to butt into others’ conversations.
maybe the intruder just didn’t realize he or she was intruding, but assumed there was a lull in the conversation between you and the other. I would do what you did, and say, “we’re discussing something, can you check back later?” I believe this is pretty common social pragmatic situation, and don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that you are deaf. I also think some hearing people are able to read nonverbal cues such as both of you not looking at him or replying right away, or staring at him, in which case the intruder will realize he was “butting in,” and say, “oh, excuse me, am I interrupting?” Or the intruder could have taken a quick scan of your body language and ask “can I talk to you?” first, giving you an opportunity to let him know you’re still talking to each other.
This happens also when the first conversation is in ASL or a mixture of other communication methods. Suddenly the conversation is switched over to the third party and cuts out the Deaf person totally. It’s rude and it is amazing how often hearing persons overlook this.
If this continues too long, it would be appropriate to cut back in and say, “can we (or you) finish this another time?” as a gentle reminder that you were there first. (The interruption might have been critical and time sensitive, so one must allow for that.) Depending on the answer, one can quietly leave the area, indicate that the others can go to another area, something that allows you to get back to work. Don’t just sit there for an eternity and fume.
Then at a different time, have a neutral discussion how this kind of interruption makes you feel. It may be the usual way the workplace communication goes, so be ready for different information.
I find myself avoiding people that allow this to happen consistently despite gentle reminders. Certain people simply never get it and it’s their loss.